Shuck and Jive

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of the congregation I joyfully serve. But my congregation loves me!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

PCUSA Approves Gay Clergy And Thus Brings On the RAPTURE!!

Make sure you thank a Presbyterian for bringing on the Rapture. Now that Presbyterian pulpits will soon be overrun with gays, the Lord surely will return to save the righteous from gay cooties.

It appears the Lord will return Saturday, in fact.

More on that below.

First things first.

The voting on Amendment A continues. I had predicted that this was going to be the day we would get our 87th vote. I was proven wrong. Instead we received our 90th, 91st, and 92nd YES from

  • Des Moines, YES! 64-29-2
  • Charlotte, YES! 162-154-2
  • New York City, YES! 89-31-5
I think West Jersey was going to revisit whatever they did with their tie vote. Who knows.

The tally is 92-66.

Voting on Amendment A after it has been passed is like Hawaii going to the polls in the late afternoon on election night. However, it is good to get as many YESes as possible to show that this is the direction the church is taking. Hopefully, we will get 96 or 97 YESes.

Up next:

Homestead (37-40-3) Flip
Sheppards and Lapsley (77-75) Hold
Los Ranchos (35-143) Miracle Flip

Then guess what?

YES! It's the Rapturd!

Put your Rapture Bloomers on (so those left behind won't get a peek) and then you are ready to blast off and meet Jesus!

Don't forget your pets!