Shuck and Jive

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of the congregation I joyfully serve. But my congregation loves me!

Sunday, September 30, 2007

What is the Worst 80s Song?

Due to immense popular demand (well two folks, Bobby and Alex), I have decided to open up the floor for nominations for the worst 80s song! I have already cheated and checked out High Bias who collected his own worst 80s songs. Since the 80s were the years I was doing my country music dj stint, a few country and western tunes will be on my list.

As it is characteristic of Shuck and Jive to tick off folks now and then, my first nomination is...

Lee Greenwood: God Bless the USA
This is what High Bias sez about this tune:

Nativist, jingoist Reagan-era tripe meant to make us feel good about gutting social programs, recklessly building up our already bloated nuclear arsenal, and invading small Caribbean islands for self-aggrandizement and profit. Oh, don't get me started....
I tend to agree. And don't tell me that because I don't like this song, I don't support our troops, honor the men (AND WOMEN) who have lost their lives in conflict, and enjoy eating apple pie.

Nominations are already flooding in:

  1. Lee Greenwood--God Bless the USA
  2. Toni Basil--Hey Mickey!
  3. Styx--Mr. Roboto
  4. Hall and Oates--I Can't Go for That
  5. Michael Jackson--Beat It
  6. Men Without Hats--Safety Dance
I realize that one artist may have sung more than one really bad song. But each artist gets just one. I mean we don't want to give them a complex.

All right the floor is open for nominations! The worst 80s song!


15 comments:

  1. Alright, I'll nominate that annoying little ditty by Toni Basil
    "Mickie"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well I agree with the general badness of God Bless the USA and Mickie but I'm not on the same page with everything High Bias says. Anyway, I have one....

    -Mr. Roboto by Stynx, I mean Styx

    ReplyDelete
  3. Dang! Along with those two I was gonna nominate "The Fightin' Side of Me", but learned it was written in '76. Can we go back to the '70s nominations for a sec? Here're the lyrics for "Fightin' Side":
    I hear people talkin' bad,
    About the way we have to live here in this country,
    Harpin' on the wars we fight,
    An' gripin' 'bout the way things oughta be.
    An' I don't mind 'em switchin' sides,
    An' standin' up for things they believe in.
    When they're runnin' down my country, man,
    They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
    Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
    Runnin' down the way of life,
    Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
    If you don't love it, leave it:
    Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
    If you're runnin' down my country, man,
    You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

    I read about some squirrely guy,
    Who claims, he just don't believe in fightin'.
    An' I wonder just how long,
    The rest of us can count on bein' free.
    They love our milk an' honey,
    But they preach about some other way of livin'.
    When they're runnin' down my country, hoss,
    They're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

    Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
    Runnin' down the way of life,
    Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
    If you don't love it, leave it:
    Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
    If you're runnin' down my country, man,
    You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.

    Yeah, walkin' on the fightin' side of me.
    Runnin' down the way of life,
    Our fightin' men have fought and died to keep.
    If you don't love it, leave it:
    Let this song I'm singin' be a warnin'.
    If you're runnin' down my country, man,
    You're walkin' on the fightin' side of me.


    Merle loves freedom of speech as long as he can copyright it and get royalties off of it, I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dang! Along with those two I was gonna nominate "The Fightin' Side of Me"

    Dear lord, that's terrible. Y'know, I have a friend who says everyone needs a little Merle...every now and then; but I can do without that. Merle actually has some really good songs, like If We Make it Through December, but there's really no excuse for the level of badness in Fightin' side. Donna just talked me in to filling in some of the user profile stuff today...and I had Merle on there, but I can't list him as a favorite anymore in good conscience after reading that; the age of innocence is gone; Merle's a moron.

    ReplyDelete
  5. 80s - that's my growing up era. I listened to everything because I had the time and interest.

    I was appalled by anything by Hall and Oates. My nominee "I Can't Go For That [No-oh-oh-oh-oh]" and "Rich Girl [you can rely on the olds mans money]" by the same drivel-masters is my dishonorable mention. No wonder the jihadists wanted to kill us by the time the 90s rolled around. They just wanted us to shut up....

    ReplyDelete
  6. "I can't list him as a favorite anymore in good conscience after reading that; the age of innocence is gone; Merle's a moron."

    Sorry, Bobby. I didn't want to be the one to tell you, but there it is.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey, Bobby -

    This is from Merle's official website. It's from 2003, so who knows what the Hag feels today, but at least he isn't a TOTAL moron:

    "As a country we need to look inward for the answers to the energy of the future. We need to bring down our demands for oil, rebuild some bridges and highways and allow the farmers to grow something that replenishes the soil. Those who don't know what that is, should do some research. The problem is not in Iraq and the answers are not in Iran. I hope were not buried alive beneath this pending financial collapse if the pipeline doesn't get through. Surely everything doesn't depend on oil!"

    He does think we are in the end times, though. Sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  8. OK

    Michael Jackson Beat It.

    I could list Michael Jackson songs all day but John said just one.

    ReplyDelete
  9. There's just no time to list all the 80s songs that are absolutely pathetic. I'd be writing 'til next week.
    Truly a decade music would like to forget.

    (stand by, I'm throwing mental darts)


    The Safety Dance by Men Without Talent...uh, I mean Hats.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well, thanks Snad, I feel a little better. Pastor Bob, Thriller was Michael Jackson's last OK album. His previous album, Off the Wall is a great album. I suspect we disagree here. Of course, the stuff MJ churned out in later years was awful; he was no good after he turned into a middle aged white woman.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Bobby, I am no fan of Michael Jackson, but us middle aged white women have to stick together, you know. I'd much rather go after Wang Chung. "Everybody have fun tonight! (Everybody Wang Chung tonight)". Sounds like something you do after a few too many Busch Lights.

    ReplyDelete
  12. bobby

    I think Weird Al does better with Michael Jackson songs and videos than Michael Jackson does!

    Consider his, Eat It! and Fat.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Weird Al does better with just about every song he gets hold of! He's the BASF of music: he doesn't make bad songs. He makes bad songs - funny.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Now, now... if we're going to beat up on Rick Dees and "Disco Duck" (which is a parody after all), then Weird Al is fair game.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Disco Duck is a parody? I guess I never could stand to listen to enough of it to figure that out. Now I have to rethink the last 25 years of my life!

    ReplyDelete