Shuck and Jive

Opinions expressed here are my own and do not represent the views of the congregation I joyfully serve. But my congregation loves me!

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Cheap Church People

I have heard this a number of times now. The shift that waiters and waitresses hate to do is the Sunday afternoon shift. Why?

Quote from a college student:

"That is when the church people come in to eat. They are demanding and lousy tippers."

I have heard it more than once. Sometimes the righteous instead of leaving a tip, leave some bible tract. I mean, really.

If you are a church person, here are commandments for you when eating out. In the language of King Jimmy:

I. Thou shalt be courteous and respectful to thy server.

II. Thou shalt not tip thy server less than 20% of thy total bill. Yea, I saith, 20%! Thy servers make less than three dollars per hour and rely on thy tip. If thou canst afford to eat out, thou canst therefore tip a wage pleasing to the Lord, or I shalt smite thy asseth.

III. If thou must leaveth some literature, be thou pleasant and generous first, and thus will thy witness be faithful.

Thus saith the Lord.

See if thou can handle the job of a waitress.